[She still isn't sure what to do in the moments where Troy breaks all the rules, touching her without question, like she might actually be precious to him. There is only one man in her life who ever came close to that same level of daring -- but then he left, of course, fled off to London with the sister who never glanced her way.
Shirou had always deserved a fairy tale ending with a proper princess; and Sakura had always known she could never be that for him.
That's an ache that's long since been buried, if nothing else. As Troy draws his hand back, she does not feel awkwardness, necessarily, or even reproach. Instead she regards him with watchful eyes, too wary to offer trust, but not so embittered as to reject his kind offer.
So instead -- she'll nod. The only peace offering she can give. And as expected, the day closes out in the relative silence of two people learning to navigate around one another.
Then comes the nighttime. The establishing of bedtime routines. Both of them dance between the bedroom and the bathroom getting ready, and all the while Sakura wonders if she can finesse sleeping in her travel clothes instead of the simple gown she'd brought from the Matou residence. One look at that king-sized mattress is all the reminder she needs that she will, in fact, be sleeping next to her husband-to-be. And not that she ever once thought about escaping her situation, but.
This really is it: her life for now on.]
-- Um, sometimes I'm a bit of a fussy sleeper, so... [Forcing herself to speak as she slowly, ever so slowly creeps onto the left side of the bed, dressed in that same gown she nearly tossed out a window. Despite its relative modesty, she almost feels bare when sitting next to a man whose easily twice her size] I'm sorry if I disturb you at all.
[ Troy didn't let her silence affect him even as the dine and have small talk throughout the rest of the night. But all that time, he still felt his heart beat faster than it should, a bit on edge around her as he continues to try and figure her out. Troy lies down near the edge of the bed, with broad build taking up a lot of space but he still gave Sakura a lot of room even at the expense of his own comfort. Eyes closed, he only opened them and turned his head to face her when she speaks to him. Her voice sounded pleasant in the silent of their room, with only faint sounds of the outside world reaching his ears and relaxing him. ]
It's fine. I can sleep pretty deeply so even if you hit me in the face, I bet I'll still be asleep.
[ He chuckles faintly, lying a little bit because he knows that's completely untrue. Years as a soldier fighting behind enemy lines actually made him a light sleeper. But he doesn't require much of it either thanks to his augmentations. It balances out, he thought, so he at least wasn't lying when he said he doesn't mind her fussy sleeping.
Still, Troy finds himself looking at her from where he lies, appreciating the finer aspects of her beauty as the soft light of the moon seeps into their balcony window. ]
Ever lived with a man before? Other than your grandfather, I mean.
[ He figures tiring her out with small talk could get her to sleep, but at the same time his curiosity burns bright within him, wanting to know more about her ]
[She slips her feet underneath cotton sheets, wiggles down until her bottom half is covered. Knowing that sleep won't come to her easily -- not yet -- Sakura remains seated, hands folded over her lap. At least the relative darkness of the bedroom grants her courage; glancing in Troy's direction without flinching back doesn't take all of her nerve, and she considers him before continuing.]
All those years I lived with my brother, my grandfather... [A muted shrug] This is my first time being outside of Fuyuki.
[Sheltered? Oh yes, very. She knows the implications speak for themselves. Magi in general dislike interaction with anything outside their work, but it is still a little unusual to meet someone so untraveled.]
... What about you? Are you... [A pause, her mouth working slowly over her bottom lip. There is no gracious way to speak her thoughts, and so in faint apology:]
I'm sorry. Grandfather did not tell me much about your circumstances. [...]
[ Never been outside of Fuyuki? That thought lingers in his head as he tries to grasp what sort of life would that be. He turns, still lying on his side but now facing her side of the bed. Troy lets his arm prop up the pillow under his head before he speaks: ]
Oh no, should I finally break my mysterious gentleman persona and tell you all about myself?
[ He chuckles, wanting to show that he's just messing with her. ]
Come on, lie down. I'll tell you anything you want to know.
[ He'd joke that he's boring, and anything about himself would put her to sleep. But he already spent that point on one joke, he'd best wait a little until Sakura's joke tolerance recharges a bit more ]
I didn't live with a grandfather, but I had brothers and a sister. A mom who provided for us. We're even close with my aunts and uncles.
[Spoken with a tinge of... well, perhaps not envy, exactly, but it is spoken quiet, bittersweet, as she slowly acquiesces to his suggestion and burrows further under the sheets. Head now propped on top a pillow, she also turns to face him.]
And you all practice magecraft?
[How is such a thing possible, she wonders, when all her experience has taught her that magi have no interest in maintaining typical family relations. People are, at best, resources to use, with little room left over for love and affection. Perhaps this is proof that her image of magi society is yet another casualty of her Grandfather's cruelty... or maybe Troy is just that lucky to have the best of both worlds.]
[ He shakes his head, taking in the sight of her relaxing and joining him on the bed. It's a sight he'll have to get used to from now on. ]
No... No they were not mages. Last I heard from my siblings, they've got pretty normal jobs. My mother's not here with us anymore, though.
[ He admits, knowing it's probably strange that he's the only mage in the family. ]
I'm the only one who learned magecraft in my family. Although my mom kept telling me stories of how her mother, and grandmother, were witches. Never believed it even for a bit. I feel like it was just to scare me and others into behaving.
[ A soft laugh as he reminisce, and with the knowing that his mother was just a regular person ]
It was a long story how I got here. When I was just a few years younger than you were I had a girlfriend. She was innocent. Then she possessed by evil spirits that took over her body, and sadly, she didn't make it. I blamed myself for not believing her, not helping her. So I learned about the supernatural world in possibly one of the worst ways possible.
[ He spoke of it like he's told this story so many times. There's still sadness in his eyes that no amount of training can hide, but his voice showed acceptance of what has happened. Knowing there's nothing he can do to change it now. But looking at Sakura, maybe he can find redemption from his greatest failure. ]
[Indeed, what a terrible introduction into the world of magi, and she quickly looks askance, as if deciding that she doesn't deserve to see the melancholy reflected back at her. Really, she wonders if she should count Troy lucky, or cursed: only by having magic circuits and acquiring magecraft could he ever hope to avenge the person he once loved, but still.
What a horrible fate. Very few people are magi because they wish to be.]
But... I think there's something precious in trying to avenge her memory. [Leaning her cheek further into the pillow, voice low and thoughtful. To work in service of love... it's almost what she'd expect a hero to say.]
[ A tinge of sorrow paints the sparkle in his eye when he smiles off whatever darkness he's keeping in. Troy is a man of many regrets despite how he carries himself. ]
Revenge, even if you get it, just feels... hollow. It makes you do things that you will regret. Blinds you to what truly matters. By the time you even snap out of it, you realize you're no more peaceful than when you started.
[ He spoke from experience, scoffing at how much of his vulnerability he revealed to her. But if they were to marry and have a family, or just to get to know each other, Troy felt like he should open up to her. Even his darkest memories ]
She decides it after a moment's consideration, face half-disappearing against the pillow when she turns her head into it, watching him in the darkness. If given the option, she... she thinks that she'd marinate in the promise of vengeance, willingly blind and spiteful, refusing to accept the reality of her own sorrows.
It's why she's long since stopped complaining if others are cruel to her. Deep down, it's fair punishment for being a terrible person in the first place, isn't it? Someone who cannot attain happiness, no matter what she does.
But from what little she's gleaned, Troy is different. He does not seem the type who deserves his suffering. Instead:]
Of course I never knew her, but... she'd probably want you to look after your own happiness, now.
[-- Which she doubts she'll be able to provide, and it's why her mouth pulls into a brief, self-abasing smile, meant to melt into the shadows of the room. No matter that they're set to marry within a week -- she should never be anyone's first choice.
... She wishes she could apologize to him, for this unfortunate case of bad luck]
[ Troy is unaware of Sakura's darker side at the moment, but the way she sinks her face into the pillow and the way she smiled, Troy feels a tinge of pity that he can't quite explain. He puts his hand on her arm, both to soothe that feeling in his heart and to acclimate her to his touch. His thumb caresses, with the rest of his fingers gently furled around it. ]
Maybe. Something to think about for another day. For now, let's just sleep.
[ He bumps his forehead gently against her own, exhaling a warm breath that melds with hers. Troy eases, never letting her go, and just lets himself drift off to sleep...
In the middle of the night, miles outside of their apartment complex. A powerful thrum of mana spikes from the center of the city, growing in strength and luring any mage within Tokyo's borders. Many mages all over different parts of the city are awake to witness this, as if they were anticipating it all along and looking forward to what is to come...
Troy, however, fell asleep through it all. He wakes up a little later than usual, often up before sunrise to go jogging but this time the sun had already been up. The gentle rumbling of the nearby train shook him awake, giving him a feeling unease. He groans, feeling for Sakura next to him. ]
Sakura?
[ He calls out with his eyes still sewn shut, groaning at the tightness of his neck that he just twists into a crack. Instantly feeling better. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Shirou had always deserved a fairy tale ending with a proper princess; and Sakura had always known she could never be that for him.
That's an ache that's long since been buried, if nothing else. As Troy draws his hand back, she does not feel awkwardness, necessarily, or even reproach. Instead she regards him with watchful eyes, too wary to offer trust, but not so embittered as to reject his kind offer.
So instead -- she'll nod. The only peace offering she can give. And as expected, the day closes out in the relative silence of two people learning to navigate around one another.
Then comes the nighttime. The establishing of bedtime routines. Both of them dance between the bedroom and the bathroom getting ready, and all the while Sakura wonders if she can finesse sleeping in her travel clothes instead of the simple gown she'd brought from the Matou residence. One look at that king-sized mattress is all the reminder she needs that she will, in fact, be sleeping next to her husband-to-be. And not that she ever once thought about escaping her situation, but.
This really is it: her life for now on.]
-- Um, sometimes I'm a bit of a fussy sleeper, so... [Forcing herself to speak as she slowly, ever so slowly creeps onto the left side of the bed, dressed in that same gown she nearly tossed out a window. Despite its relative modesty, she almost feels bare when sitting next to a man whose easily twice her size] I'm sorry if I disturb you at all.
no subject
It's fine. I can sleep pretty deeply so even if you hit me in the face, I bet I'll still be asleep.
[ He chuckles faintly, lying a little bit because he knows that's completely untrue. Years as a soldier fighting behind enemy lines actually made him a light sleeper. But he doesn't require much of it either thanks to his augmentations. It balances out, he thought, so he at least wasn't lying when he said he doesn't mind her fussy sleeping.
Still, Troy finds himself looking at her from where he lies, appreciating the finer aspects of her beauty as the soft light of the moon seeps into their balcony window. ]
Ever lived with a man before? Other than your grandfather, I mean.
[ He figures tiring her out with small talk could get her to sleep, but at the same time his curiosity burns bright within him, wanting to know more about her ]
no subject
[She slips her feet underneath cotton sheets, wiggles down until her bottom half is covered. Knowing that sleep won't come to her easily -- not yet -- Sakura remains seated, hands folded over her lap. At least the relative darkness of the bedroom grants her courage; glancing in Troy's direction without flinching back doesn't take all of her nerve, and she considers him before continuing.]
All those years I lived with my brother, my grandfather... [A muted shrug] This is my first time being outside of Fuyuki.
[Sheltered? Oh yes, very. She knows the implications speak for themselves. Magi in general dislike interaction with anything outside their work, but it is still a little unusual to meet someone so untraveled.]
... What about you? Are you... [A pause, her mouth working slowly over her bottom lip. There is no gracious way to speak her thoughts, and so in faint apology:]
I'm sorry. Grandfather did not tell me much about your circumstances. [...]
I don't know anything besides your name.
no subject
Oh no, should I finally break my mysterious gentleman persona and tell you all about myself?
[ He chuckles, wanting to show that he's just messing with her. ]
Come on, lie down. I'll tell you anything you want to know.
[ He'd joke that he's boring, and anything about himself would put her to sleep. But he already spent that point on one joke, he'd best wait a little until Sakura's joke tolerance recharges a bit more ]
I didn't live with a grandfather, but I had brothers and a sister. A mom who provided for us. We're even close with my aunts and uncles.
no subject
[Spoken with a tinge of... well, perhaps not envy, exactly, but it is spoken quiet, bittersweet, as she slowly acquiesces to his suggestion and burrows further under the sheets. Head now propped on top a pillow, she also turns to face him.]
And you all practice magecraft?
[How is such a thing possible, she wonders, when all her experience has taught her that magi have no interest in maintaining typical family relations. People are, at best, resources to use, with little room left over for love and affection. Perhaps this is proof that her image of magi society is yet another casualty of her Grandfather's cruelty... or maybe Troy is just that lucky to have the best of both worlds.]
no subject
No... No they were not mages. Last I heard from my siblings, they've got pretty normal jobs. My mother's not here with us anymore, though.
[ He admits, knowing it's probably strange that he's the only mage in the family. ]
I'm the only one who learned magecraft in my family. Although my mom kept telling me stories of how her mother, and grandmother, were witches. Never believed it even for a bit. I feel like it was just to scare me and others into behaving.
[ A soft laugh as he reminisce, and with the knowing that his mother was just a regular person ]
It was a long story how I got here. When I was just a few years younger than you were I had a girlfriend. She was innocent. Then she possessed by evil spirits that took over her body, and sadly, she didn't make it. I blamed myself for not believing her, not helping her. So I learned about the supernatural world in possibly one of the worst ways possible.
[ He spoke of it like he's told this story so many times. There's still sadness in his eyes that no amount of training can hide, but his voice showed acceptance of what has happened. Knowing there's nothing he can do to change it now. But looking at Sakura, maybe he can find redemption from his greatest failure. ]
no subject
[Indeed, what a terrible introduction into the world of magi, and she quickly looks askance, as if deciding that she doesn't deserve to see the melancholy reflected back at her. Really, she wonders if she should count Troy lucky, or cursed: only by having magic circuits and acquiring magecraft could he ever hope to avenge the person he once loved, but still.
What a horrible fate. Very few people are magi because they wish to be.]
But... I think there's something precious in trying to avenge her memory. [Leaning her cheek further into the pillow, voice low and thoughtful. To work in service of love... it's almost what she'd expect a hero to say.]
You don't regret it, do you?
no subject
[ A tinge of sorrow paints the sparkle in his eye when he smiles off whatever darkness he's keeping in. Troy is a man of many regrets despite how he carries himself. ]
Revenge, even if you get it, just feels... hollow. It makes you do things that you will regret. Blinds you to what truly matters. By the time you even snap out of it, you realize you're no more peaceful than when you started.
[ He spoke from experience, scoffing at how much of his vulnerability he revealed to her. But if they were to marry and have a family, or just to get to know each other, Troy felt like he should open up to her. Even his darkest memories ]
no subject
She decides it after a moment's consideration, face half-disappearing against the pillow when she turns her head into it, watching him in the darkness. If given the option, she... she thinks that she'd marinate in the promise of vengeance, willingly blind and spiteful, refusing to accept the reality of her own sorrows.
It's why she's long since stopped complaining if others are cruel to her. Deep down, it's fair punishment for being a terrible person in the first place, isn't it? Someone who cannot attain happiness, no matter what she does.
But from what little she's gleaned, Troy is different. He does not seem the type who deserves his suffering. Instead:]
Of course I never knew her, but... she'd probably want you to look after your own happiness, now.
[-- Which she doubts she'll be able to provide, and it's why her mouth pulls into a brief, self-abasing smile, meant to melt into the shadows of the room. No matter that they're set to marry within a week -- she should never be anyone's first choice.
... She wishes she could apologize to him, for this unfortunate case of bad luck]
I'm back. Doing a little skip so it feels fresh.
Maybe. Something to think about for another day. For now, let's just sleep.
[ He bumps his forehead gently against her own, exhaling a warm breath that melds with hers. Troy eases, never letting her go, and just lets himself drift off to sleep...
In the middle of the night, miles outside of their apartment complex. A powerful thrum of mana spikes from the center of the city, growing in strength and luring any mage within Tokyo's borders. Many mages all over different parts of the city are awake to witness this, as if they were anticipating it all along and looking forward to what is to come...
Troy, however, fell asleep through it all. He wakes up a little later than usual, often up before sunrise to go jogging but this time the sun had already been up. The gentle rumbling of the nearby train shook him awake, giving him a feeling unease. He groans, feeling for Sakura next to him. ]
Sakura?
[ He calls out with his eyes still sewn shut, groaning at the tightness of his neck that he just twists into a crack. Instantly feeling better. ]